It's up to me to let go

It's up to me to let go What does a person have to do, to make up for harm? What does it take for you to forgive and let go? I realized something this morning: It’s up to me to let go of hurt feelings! Today I am willing to let go of resentment toward my Mom. I am a lesbian mother of two gorgeous little kids. My wife Joanna and I chose for me to get pregnant with the use of a sperm bank. When I first told my mom about this over four years ago, she was not into it. Really not into it. Statements that fell during that time included things like: this will not be her grandchild and she will not consider my wife to be the mom of the child. For me, becoming pregnant for the first time and wishing for my mom’s support, this was not a happy episode of our relationship. And thinking about this time, would still bring up hurt feelings four years later. But guess what, my mom got over it. She loves and adores her grandchildren, and in every phone call she tells them what wonderful two moms they have. She showers them with gifts, and supports our family in great ways. When I noticed myself getting upset about the past again, I realized that the feeling, that she is not supportive of my family, is really just an old story. I asked myself “What does a person have to do, to make up for harm? What does it take for me to forgive and let go?”. As I am willing to focus on the loving relationship I want to have with my mother, it’s the current actions that count. And honestly, at this point, she is doing every possible thing right. There is nothing that I could ask of her, to do in order to “make up” for things that happened in the past. It’s up to me. As long as I hold on to hurt feelings, these feelings will continue to hurt me. There is absolutely no need to do this though. So today I am willing to let go. And I am willing to allow the wonderful feelings she is showering me and my family with. It is up to us to choose the stories we tell about our past. We can tell stories of the bad stuff, or we can tell stories of the great stuff. So I am done with telling the story of how my mom was unsupportive of me during that time. Because my mom is wonderful and amazing! She has always been a great inspiration to me, she is my biggest supporter in so many crazy dreams, she is always willing to support me financially, and she raised me to believe in myself and to believe I am capable of doing anything I set my mind on (and this is one of the most valuable things I think any parent can give to their child). As a coach, there is so much we know in theory. We know the tools, we know the power of thought, we know how easy it can be to transform relationships. Knowledge is one thing, applying it is what makes a difference. I am happy to say that today I am walking my talk. Thanks mom, I love you!

Free Consultation - 30min.

 Get to know me as a coach, ask your questions and get a feel if my coaching approach is the right support for you.

Related posts

Joy Zalzala-Soyka - Portrait Photo

Hi, I am Joy, my mission is to empower individuals with complex experiences to find clarity within themselves and act courageously in their life. I coach people to overcome fears of failure, reconnect with inner guidance, and craft practical steps to achieve their goals.

From navigating your relationships and career to embracing neurodiversity and personal growth, my holistic approach is tailored to your needs. Let's start an empowering conversation about the change you seek.

At you receive
non-normative, trans* affirming, antiracist, body positive, neurodiverse and trauma informed support.

Work with me.

Let's start an empowering conversation about the change you seek. Simply book “Let’s talk” or dive in with an Initial Session.

Subscribe to my
monthly newsletter

© 2023 Joy Zalzala-Soyka | Privacy Policy | Contact | Data Server Agreement